A Mother’s Heart

Ssshh…

Hush now…

That’s right baby, close your eyes.

I’ve got you.

Mhmmm, Hmmm

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

 

The child drifted off into a deep slumber. As I sat there rocking that child, tears formed in my eyes. I was a mother, a despondent mother for tomorrow I knew my life would change forever. They say that once you have a child you begin to love them with all your heart, you want to protect your child from any and all danger but of course that’s not possible. But it was worse knowing I could do nothing at all to prevent what was going to happen on the morrow.

So while my tears flowed I reviewed the memories in my head of rocking my own baby to sleep, looking into the eyes of my husband’s loving but pained soul that described hurt, fear, and sadness at the birth of our baby boy. The sadness because we knew in a matter of time he would no longer be near us. We knew we would never get to watch him grow up, get married, and have children. We knew we would never get to bounce our grandchildren on our laps. We knew it would never be.

We would have to treasure the few years we would have with him. Enjoy and remember every single giggle, every single tear, every single smile. That image is forever etched in my mind for pretty soon, that is all that I will have.

I looked down at the baby I held in my arms and all of a sudden an ocean of anger swept over me. My human child who drank my milk-would be sold tomorrow, the other human child who drank the same milk from me would be rich and educated. The country we lived in was built on the backs of my brothers and sisters yet we couldn’t even be a family. I worried daily that my husband would be taken from me, that I would no longer be able to hold his hand, hear his comforting voice, or lay my head on his chest.

In the midst of all my thoughts and anguish, I heard a soft voice. The voice I would soon know to be Moses.

The freedom train is leaving tonight, get on board, she, my Moses, whispered in my ear.

I feel like my life will never be the same again…

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